A Housecarl's Burderns
by TheDoc70r
Summary: Lydia is in love with her Thane, The Dragonborn, but he doesn't know it. How will Lydia express her feelings towards him? and will he return the feelings?


It was a nice day in Falkreath Hold. The sun was shining down through the tree branches at its peak at midday. There was a cool breeze running through the forest which was refreshing when it hit you in the face. Lydia had just finished setting up her tent when the Dragonborn came back with some rabbits. She looked at him and smiled. She remembered when she was first told that she had been reassigned to be the Housecarl for him. At first she was reluctant, but after a while he started to grow on her. Now instead of imagining leaving him in the wild, she was imagining coming home to him, hugging him, holding onto him and kissing him…

"Are you hungry Lydia?" The Dragonborn asked, abruptly interrupting and ending her fantasies.

"Yes, thank you my Thane." _Oh gods did I really just say that? _She thought to herself.

"Please Lydia, I have told you to call me Mikkel" The Dragonborn said in a cheerful tone with a small laugh on the end.

As if she knew they were talking, Mjoll came back to camp with a large bundle of small branches and logs to use for firewood. She admitted, ever since Mjoll started to come on adventures with the Dragonborn and her, she became very jealous. The Dragonborn had spent more time with Mjoll than her and she could tell that he was developing feelings for her. She couldn't blame him, she was an extremely talented warrior and she was beautiful. She can remember when it was just her and the Dragonborn, together, going on adventures, slaying dragons and killing bandits for the Jarls. When it was only her and the Dragonborn, not some uptight, self-absorbed snob like Mjoll. Oh why had she decided to develop feelings for him? Out of everyone in Skyrim she had fallen for the Dragonborn. But she knew she never had a chance with him, he could get anyone in Skyrim, why would he settle for a lowly Housecarl?

"Is that all you got?" Mjoll said in her thick Nordic accent, looking at the rabbits the Dragonborn caught.

"Well you didn't exactly buy the best arrows" The Dragonborn replied

Mjoll shrugged off the comment and started to make the campfire. Lydia retreated into her tent and put on some more comfortable armour- Hide. Although she was a Nord and felt fine in a thick set of steel armour, they were going to be camping here for the night and it was only midday. She sat down and buried her face in her hands. _Why him? And why does he never see me? _She thought to himself.

She had been putting up a fake smile for the past month to hide her feelings. Although there have been many times where she had made quite obvious suggestions about the intentions of her feelings. But the Dragonborn had either not notice, which was unlikely, or just didn't feel the same about Lydia. She had even cried herself to sleep sometimes because the fake act had taken a large toll on her. She wanted nothing more than to just be with him. To hold him close at night when they are in bed together. To rest her head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat, and to grow old with him and still love him. But she knew that would never be the case, and knowing that didn't change her feelings for the better. If anything, it made them more intense and unbearable.

Lydia came out of her tent, now dressed in Hide armour that she had made from deer and bear hides. It was perfectly crafted because she was a talented smith, yet the Dragonborn had always asked Mjoll to sharpen his weapons, or make him a new pair of boots or gloves.

She looked down at the stream they were camping next to and decided to sit there and read a book; A Brief History of The Empire Vol. 3. She leant up against a tree stump on the river bank and opened her book and began to read.

After a little while she saw something out of the corner of her eye. She looked up and scanned the area opposite the river and saw a figure. She stood up and walked more towards it the river. From across the bank she made out what the figure was; a female Bosmer. She was clad in Bosmer armour and had a hunting bow on her back. The Bosmer saw Lydia and walked towards her.

"Are you a bandit?" The Bosmer said in a soft voice

"Defiantly not" Lydia said with a laugh. "I'm a Housecarl"

"Do you have a camp near-by?"

"Just up the hill here, you're welcome to join us for a drink if you want?" Lydia questioned

"I would love to, thank you" The Bosmer said, smiling.

The Bosmer gracefully climbed up a tree and walked across one of the thickest branches that led across the river. She leapt off the branch and landed on a fallen tree trunk, and crossed the rest of the river that way and stood next to Lydia. She was considerably shorter than Lydia, but that is to be expected. Lydia was tall, even for a Nord.

"What's your name?" Lydia asked

"Niryani, and you?"

"Lydia"

"Are you with anyone else?" Niryani asked

"I'm with my Thane and another companion"

"Who's your Thane?"

"The Dragonborn" Lydia said in an almost teen like voice with a smile.

Niryani looked at Lydia with a surprised look, which turned into a smile and a small giggle. They arrived at the camp and Lydia introduced Niryani to the Dragonborn and Mjoll, then the two sat down on the edge of the camp.

"So tell me about yourself Niryani" Lydia said

"Well as you can tell, I'm a Bosmer. I was born in Valenwood in a town called Eldenroot, it's a beautiful place, you should visit it one time. I came to Skyrim about 5 years ago and have been living here since, hunting and making a living from that."

"Sounds exciting" Lydia said

The Dragonborn clipped his sword onto his belt and picked up his bow and arrows then walked over to Lydia.

"Mjoll and I are going to go hunting again, we shouldn't be more than an hour" He said

"Okay, don't get yourself killed"

The Dragonborn laughed and then walked off, chasing after Mjoll. Lydia watched him walk off for a little bit.

"You love him don't you?" Niryani asked

"What?"

"Your Thane, you're in love with him aren't you?"

"I try to show him my feelings but every time I do he doesn't see it. It's like I'm hiding in plain sight and he doesn't see me" Lydia said, a tear started to form in her eye. "Why is love like this? It makes you vulnerable, shows you exactly what you want and spits in your face, yet we keep wanting more"

"Love is a strange thing. It can make us the happiest we have been, or the saddest we will ever be. But you know it's true when it keeps spitting in your face but you still stay around and want more." Niryani said

"I don't know whether that was meant to make me feel better or not" Lydia said with a laugh, the tear now rolled off her face and fell to the ground. "Gods I've tried to show him how I feel. But every single time he never sees! He never notices me! And it's killing me!" more tears started rolling off her face.

Niryani placed her hand on Lydia's shoulder and then embraced her into a hug. When Lydia let go she wiped her eyes and face with her hand.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you this, I've only just met you." Lydia said with a laugh

"I guess I just have one of those faces" Niryani giggled

It's true, she did have a calming, friendly face. Or maybe all elves looked like that. The only elf that Lydia was really acquainted with was Irileth from Whiterun. The Dragonborn returned soon after Lydia had her little conversation with Niryani and he brought four more rabbits with him.

Night had arrived and the four people drank and laughed around the campfire after they ate their rabbits. The Dragonborn told of the adventure that he and Lydia went on when they had to go searching through a Dwemer ruin for an Elder Scroll. That was a memory that Lydia would never forget. Not because a Falmer had stabbed her in the side. But because of how The Dragonborn nursed her back to health inside the ruin and held her in his arms until they both fell asleep.

The night passed slowly but surely and the four all retreated to their own tents. Niryani had set one up just before that sat down to eat. Lydia once again dreamed about being with The Dragonborn.

"_I love you Mikkel. I have for a very long time and I can't stop"_

"_I love you too Lydia"_

Lydia was jolted awake by a chill sent down her spine. She wiped a small tear from her eye before it could form and pulled her covers over even more. She had been dreaming again. She hated having dreams like that. As good as they were and as much as she wanted them to come true, they hurt her too much because that's all they were; dreams.

Niryani packed her bags and said her farewells. She told Lydia that she was welcome at her house anytime she was passing through Falkreath. Lydia was sad to see her go but eager to begin her adventure.

Lydia, Mjoll and Mikkel travelled to Riften and arrived two days after parting with Niryani. They had come here because the Dragonborn had told them that he had an old friend here that he wanted to visit and that there was news of a dragon attack. Of course, both of these were lies. Lydia could tell when the Dragonborn was lying by now, after adventuring with him for close to five months.

She was in the market stalls browsing the jewellery stall that a friendly Argonian had set up. Lydia was eying up a beautiful golden ring with a ruby set in it. But the Argonian had said that that ring was on hold for another buying. Lydia put the ring back and went to browse the other stalls. She was about to go into the general store when she noticed the Dragonborn at the Argonian's stall purchasing something, and not too far away was a Dunmer acted rather strangely. He kept following the Dragonborn where ever he would go, shadowing his every move and staring at him intensely. Lydia moved through the crowds so if it were necessary, she could disarm the Dunmer and hold him until the guards got to him.

The Dragonborn was close to Lydia when the Dunmer unsheathed a dagger from under his cloak. He ran at the Dragonborn to try and stab him, but the Dunmer was too close, the Dragonborn couldn't react in time. But as if she had lightening reflexes, Lydia jumped in front of the blade which pierced her Hide armour and buried itself deep within her flesh. She cried out in pain and started to stumble. Mjoll quickly drew out her great sword and cut the assassin's head off in one clean swipe. Lydia fell backwards and was caught by the Dragonborn, who held her in his arms once more.

"You fool! Why did you do that?!" The Dragonborn yelled

"I'm sworn…sworn to guard your life" Lydia managed to get out

"No, no, no I can't lose you Lydia, not you" tears started welling in his eyes

"You have Mjoll, you two can live happily together for the rest of your days, you don't need me" Lydia rasped

"You don't get it do you? YOU are the one that I want to spend the rest of my days with Lydia. I've been too much of a coward to say anything for fear that you might not feel the same" He said, starting to gentle cradle Lydia in his arms. Her face was pale and blood was quickly seeping out of her wound and between his fingers.

"I lo….. I love you" Lydia forced out

"Quiet right" The Dragonborn said, smiling and crying at the same time. "It's my last chance to say it then, I love you too Lydia" He said, tears streaming down his face

Lydia let out a weak smile and felt her eyelids becoming heavier to keep open. But then she felt something she had been waiting for ever since she first started loving the Dragonborn. He leant down and caressed her tender lips with his own. Over whelming happiness flooded Lydia's body but that wasn't enough to keep her here.

"Save me a seat in Sovngarde, my love" The Dragonborn said through tears

"Always… and when you join me there…. I'll be by your side again….. like it was meant to be" Lydia forced out.

She felt her life flow away and heard the drums of Sovngarde calling her to join the feast by Shor's seat, and what a story she would have to tell. The story of a Housecarl's burdens.

**A/N: **So this is my one shot at making Lydia more human! In the games I always thought acted like a robot. She has no personality at all! So I decided to give her a personal problem that I'm sure many have dealt with in order to make her more human. I finished this at 12.30 at night so I couldn't be bothered editing it.

Enjoy


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